Through the thoughts of an average indian girl post marriage...

    
      ·         Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

·         Who is earning almost as much as you do;

·         One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are; 

·         One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;

·         One, who has lived and loved her parents; brothers; sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

·         One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name;

·         One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen;

·         One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to;

·         And is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

·         One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

·         Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

·         Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

·         One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

·         One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

·         One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

You may ask who she is. Well, as i said, she is just another girl from your neighborhood back in India, just another girl who needs some respect, love and care, and above all, understanding.

Not many guys understand this..It’s time we see through the gender barrier and respect them!..This is my salute to them..

Relationships: Chapter: Friendship etc...

There are so many different relationships that exist, well, I would not use the word "exist" here. Let's say, that these emotional bonds are there, valid, lively and vibrant, all around us. I often claim to have seen a lot of relationships. I mean literally, I have been around places, seen people, so many types of people, I am not talking racial differences here, its the mental make up that interests me. Friends, relatives, girl-friends/boy-friends, acquaintances, contacts etc.

Now, all these are binded with each other, lets put it this way, the way I visualize it all is that the words i just mentioned,different types of relationship, are the joining forces working as rejoinders between to human beings, based on its strength, I see them as threads, strings, ropes and difficult ones as chains, while less stronger and smoother relationships, the ones that I prefer, as silk ropes. I hope you follow me here. A bit philosophical eh.. Ok, so these relationships, as I said, I have seen many of em. Why? you may ask, mainly because all of us have had one of each, probably more of those listed, but not less, atleast once in our lives. Every one has a set of definitions to define their, or lets say, His/Her relationship with the other. For the record, I have had MANY. No, seriosuly, MANY!!

This blog is MY personal take on relationships according to me and the ones I have been in. Before I begin, I would like this thing to be made very clear that it is a perspective that I approach this with, it is my perspective, they way I believe the relationships should be and the way I actually see it. I agree that you may have your own take on it. Well, thats why we are unique! ;) I would have a take on Friendship, Girl/boy friends relationships, Relatives and acquaintances.

To begin with,

Friends and Friendship:

First and foremost thing that comes to my mind when i hear the word friend? Feelings.  A person attached to another by feelings, not necessary mutually, is a friend. A friend is the one with whom you share your heart out. According to me, friends are a lot more than your average boy friends/girl friends. There are limitations, compromises, sacrifices, but in friendship? None of these apply. My golden rule, words like Sorry, Thank You and Bye; never exist in a friendship. I rather replace their use with, "arey, jaane bhi de", "koi nai, its ok yaar", and "phir milenge, pakka, goli mat dena ;)"

Friendship to me is being close to someone, so much so that you don't really have to talk to them to know how they are feeling, or what's going through their mind, you kindda read thoughts, friendship to me is NOT keeping an account of things done for one another, or repaying back the good deeds with a good deed. That is more of a give and take realtionship, thats not friendship. To me, for a person who I can go to any level to get things going, be there in sorrows, and not expect a thing back in return, is a true friend. Seriously, if u expecting back anything in return then you are better of doing a barter! A true friend to me is some one who, not necessarily stands by you with tides of time, but is always there to share your emotions, to respect you and love you for what you are.

Just a thought across my mind, Did we forget in the process of growing up that who were our first ever friends in life. Any one of you reading this right now, I want you to do this small little exercise, think of the first friend you ever made in your life, yes, go back to that nursery school or a kindergarten, and think of that guy who you introduced to your mum/dad that. "mum, he/shes my friend". Do you remember what made you make him/her your friend? To me, I really did not think of anything, probably his/her nice toys attracted me, probably his clothes did, or maybe his/her sharing stuff with me did make me like him/her and make them my friend. It was really that simple back then. And believe me, those friends are THE most cherished friends of our life, the ones who we did not even think once before making them our friends!!! Ok, now come back to present, think of making a new friend. Think of sitting in a Computer lab, and a guy is sitting next to you on the computer, think of how difficult it is to make him your friend? can you approach him with same lucidity as you to when you were in KG? Do you still have that "unselfish" immature innocence in you, can you trust some one just like that?? WHY???? Arent' we the same person we were when we were younger? Why do we think so much? Friends were a matter of instinct back then, why is it a matter of thought now?? Why is the relationship not so pure and simple anymore? Why do we have a passive approach to such blessed relationships. Why dont we have that special bond with our present friends as we have with our age old KG friends? Have we really grown up to be anti social?

The thing is, we tend to think now. Of course we thought even then, but the way we think and its direction, is different now. We think a lot before doing anything! Ever let your self flow like a river, wild and clean, unobstructed, without a thought and a free mind, when you talk to a person close to you? Ever felt that calm and relaxing feel when you talk to him/her about whats going on with life? Ever have that transparency with a person with whom you can talk about anything under the sky? The person on your mind when you were reading this post, IS you friend. That, my friends, is friendship means to me. Simple, plain, no hassles, obstructions or restraint!

Ending on the note quoted directly from a good source, the true meaning of friendship the way it should be according to me: "A person who is attached to another by feelings of affection"

-Jrx, 23rd Jan'10

Memory lanes...part 2

Most bizarre incidents of my life..so far...chronologically arranged...grade wise

1. Multiple Fractured my left leg, in a weird bicycle accident, 6 months bed rest... (6th grade)
2. Proposed a girl in 8th grade and got thru... (7th grade) 
3. Beat up a guy for misbehaving with my bro, then get beaten up by his folks... (8th grade)
4. Mess up studies real bad, getting 36% overall, lowest ever... (9th grade)
5. Fleeing pre-board examination scene (History exam specifically) and not turn up with the truth until results... (10th grade)
6. Getting caught by the folks in PTA whose daughter I had an affair (long kept secret) with... (12th grade)
7. Had my first drag on Marlboro Reds... (1st yr. bachelors')
8. 60 cigs a day... (2nd yr. bachelor's)
9. Make out in second class sleeper compartment, with a girl who had a breakup 6 hours back, that too travelling on wait list... (3rd yr. bachelor's)
10. Bumping into my ex at JFK on her first marriage anniversary... (1st yr. Grad.)

Memory lanes...part 1

Memory lanes....this is an effort to jot down most memorable events in my life dating from oldest to latest.....the ones that I can still correlate with the present day in some way or the other.

Part 1: always close to heart!

Time and tide stops for none......really....time does fly!!....Its been almost 24 years, 3 months and some 12 days I have been living and breathing....I hardly remember the first few years of my life.

Most primitive memory I can trace back to is of me going to nursery school. I still vividly remember the red checkered shirt, red shorts as well...I know, it sounds soo lame but well, we were not fashion conscious then....the first day of my nursery school, mummy had come to drop me..I had walked all the way to school. I usually walked to school then, it wasn't that far, I hardly knew what 'Far' and 'Near' meant back then. ever thought about it??...Interesting right...Anyway, i remember me holding on to mummy's forefinger and clinging along all the way with a bottle around my neck, a handkerchief pinned with my id on my shirt pocket and a small teeny weeny bag...All i cared was to see the people go as I kept walking to the school...and that was the phase of "Why's?"....An age that comes in every childs' life, that we add WHY to everything and Anything that we see or hear...I saw this happen with my bro as well...my younger bro...and i used to recall then...was I so annoying as well...Yes I must have been...Well, so mummy left me at the school gates and that was the first time I left the grasp of her finger and walked in...I turned back instantly to see where was I going and where was she coming along or not? We repeat this same phenomena even today in every decision we make, almost always unconsciously...ever thought about that!!...So, there I was, turned back and stopped in my steps...I saw her waving at me, and by then I had atleast understood that what did that action mean...it meant i was going away...and she was too.....tears poured out and i stood there crying, rubbing of my tears with my shirt sleeves...who knew what the hanky was for...it was just ornamental then.....she stopped waving....came back to me....gave a warm cuddle and a tear trickled along.....twas time for the teacher to intervene...she came, and carried me away in her arms. People say, the kid cries only on the first day, well I cried for atleast a month, everyday! That is the first ever memory of my life that I remember. For me, that is the first day of my life.

Looking at where I stand now, its been almost 24 years, of which I have spent almost 8 years living away from mummy and papa. That leaves me with 16 years. Of these 16 years, my last memory traces back to 6 years and after....I lose 6 more years there, that leaves me with only 10 years of my life with my parents!

They would soon retire, and I bet the scene of my first day at nursery still repeats everytime I leave home for anywhere I go, they would always stay close to my heart!

Apology

Things were rosy and the sun was bright,
That morning I woke up with a clear foresight,
Day moved on smooth as a merrily sailing kite,
I had wished to be ur shinning knight,
Who knew small things can often end up in spite,

I truly appreciate your candor,
although the remark was a little slander,
ur charm made the effect meander,

I vow today not to make such a mistake again,
I commit today not to make u cry again,
I pledge today not to erase that smile of yours again,

I dont take much time writing a poem,
but when its an apologetic piece, in that, I don't have a good name,

I hope you do forgive me and my innocent mistake,
lets celebrate it someday by cutting a cake,

I know u love tiramisu,
and now stop being be so blue,
I have given u enough of a clue,
If u still dont get it, then let me just tell it to u,
I love cakes and I know u do too,
Lets go and gain a pound or two,
afterall it doesnt matter when its with you!

Love:

So unknown, so wild,
So blurry, So mild,
Never so sure whether surreal or vile.

Tender it grows,
slender it shows,
whenever it's strong,
the lid just blows.

The bud may blossom,
the bud may flounder,
but the memories alwyays,
remain of the finder.

--Jigar.R.Rajpura

The Mystery Girl

Purity is what defines her,
Yes, angelic she is and that is not a blur,
to underestimate her intellect would be such a slur,
is very fond of teddies and fur,
not some one who would easily deter,
close to me and very dear,
Losing her is a living fear,

I met a girl bathed in dew,
it certainly was long overdue,
slowly but firmly the relationship grew,
we have been together like a glue,
Eyes with a tinge of brown hue,
Talks endlessly without a clue,
pretty she is, that i knew,
she often loves to hear that too,
cheers me up when i am blue,
when shes angry, I get a flu,
loves houses with a view,
Lucky to find a girl so true,
You know who am i talking about. Don't you?
I met a girl bathed in dew...

--Jigar.R.Rajpura